woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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