the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
