Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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