He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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