Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Semen is not good for contacts.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The uberlube is also flammable
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize