Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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