there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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