Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You left your phone here
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