exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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