We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just pee around me
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
