my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
