I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
