Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i think my cat just said my name.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
