Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
