That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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