Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
