4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
