i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
