i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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