THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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