My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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