Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
