I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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