The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Of course I have a pirate flag
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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