Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
