I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
