what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
