I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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