It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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