Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
