So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
