Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
