don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
