I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
