I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
