why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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