i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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