a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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