omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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