You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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