people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
