I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
