Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
