I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
