I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
