Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
