I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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