Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
