Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
