Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
