There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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