I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
