i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
