Already got asked if we're dating
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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