no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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