i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
