he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
