Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
