Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
