he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
