Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
