They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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