drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
