Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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