my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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