Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
