a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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