I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
