Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
