I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
