Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
