its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize