dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
