haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Less talking, more tequila
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
PANTIES FOUND
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