I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my shit smells like andre
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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