omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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