she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
