is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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