I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
