OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
