Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
