He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
why do cheetos always look like penises
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
