he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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