when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize