I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
