But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
