I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize