What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just high enough for therapy.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
