Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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